safety plan tips for domestic violence

Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net /David Castillo Dominici

I was recently searching for resources for a family I am working with when I found this well devised safety list for families who are at risk or have a history of domestic violence.  No one deserves to be emotionally or physically abused.  No one.  Let me repeat... no one.  That means you and everyone around you! 

The list below (which I found on the Humble Police Department website) was so well thought out that I have to share it with you...  

Safety in Living in a Home Where Violence May Occur:

• Decide and plan where you will go if you leave home (even if you don’t think you will need to)
• Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which door, window, elevator or stairwell would be best.
• Have a packed bag ready and keep at a trustworthy relative’s or friend’s home.
• Identify one or more neighbors who you can safely disclose the violence to and ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
• Devise a code word or signal to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
• If you believe an argument/incident is going to occur, leave if possible. If not, try to move to a room where you have access to an exit and or a phone. Stay away from any room without and outside door or window or a room with items that could be used as weapons such as a kitchen or garage.
• Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, do whatever is necessary to be safe. This may mean giving the abuser what he/she wants to calm him/her down.
• Keep your cell phone with you at all times.
• If necessary, call “911” for help.
• Remember – You do not deserve to be hit, threatened or live in fear?

Safety When Preparing to Leave:

• Contact a domestic violence hotline to discuss your safety options
• Open a savings account and/or credit card in your own name
• Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and clothes with someone you trust.
• Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
• Keep the phone number of the 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls.
• Review your safety plan to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.
• Remember – Leaving your batterer is a very dangerous time!

Safety with a Protective Order:

• Keep your protective order on you at all times. Give a copy to a trusted friend, family member, or clergy person. Keep a copy in your car.
• Give a copy to your children’s school and daycare.
• Call the police if your batterer violates the protective order
• Think of other ways to keep safe until law enforcement arrives

Safety in Public or at Work:

• Tell your co-worker(s), boss, and /or office or building security about your situation.
• Provide a picture of your batterer.
• Devise a code word to use to communicate that you need assistance
• Screen your calls
• Devise a safety plan for leaving work. Have someone escort you to your car or bus and wait with you until you are safely on your way. Vary your routes home.
• Think about what you would do if something happened while going home.
• Change your work routine

Safety While Using Technology

• Be careful about MySpace or Facebook accounts. Abusers can easily find out what you are doing and who you are talking with.
• Create new email accounts. Do not create or check this new account from your home computer in case it is being monitored.
• If your abuser sends you threatening emails or text messages, save and print them.
• It is virtually impossible to clear where you have been on a computer. In fact, trying to clear the history could actually tip off your abuser to your plans. Try to use a safer computer at a library, community center, or other public place to find needed resources.
• Protect your email and voice mail passwords and PIN numbers. Change them often.
• Minimize the use of cordless phones for sensitive conversations. Older models can be intercepted with a scanner or baby monitor.
• Cell phones can be used to track your location. Contact your cell phone company to make sure your cell phone cannot be ` used in this way.
• Make sure there are no GPS or tracking devices in your car

Safety for your pets:

• Keep emergency provisions for your pet if your abuser withholds money from you
• Keep the phone number of the nearest 24-hour emergency veterinary clinic
• Establish ownership of your pet by creating a paper trail (e.g., obtain a pet license, have a vet put records in your name and have a copy of your pet’s medical records).
• Contact your local SPCA to see if they have a program to help keep pets safe

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
Remember: Each situation is different. Safety suggestions in this document are general. Contact a domestic violence hotline for a more specific plan.

Protective Order
A protective order is a civil order that helps stop violent and harassing behavior and helps protect you and your family from an abuser. Protective orders are available to people who were involved in a dating relationship, family members, or household members in situations where family violence had occurred and is likely to occur in the future.

A protective order may prohibit and abuser from (1) committing family violence; (2) directly communicating with a member of the family or household in a threatening or harassing manner; or (3) going to or near the residence, school, or workplace of people listed in the order. A violation of any of these provisions of a protective order is aCriminal Offense.

Interviewing Hours
NOTE: Interviews are on a first-come, first-served basis
Monday - Friday: 8 AM - 3 PM
Family Criminal Law Division
1201 Franklin Street, 2nd Floor, Suite 2160
Houston, Texas 77002
713-755-5888

Mailing Address:
Harris County District Attorney's Office
Family Criminal Law Division
1201 Franklin Street, Suite 600
Houston, Texas 77002

Checklist of Important Things to take when You Leave:

Identification

• Driver’s license or other form of identification
• Birth certificates
• Social Security cards
• Work permits/VISA
• Assistance Identification
• Passports

Financial

• Money, debit cards, credit card
• Bank books and checkbooks
• Public Assistance documentation
• Pay stubs for both you and your abuser
• Loan information

Other important papers

• Your protective order
• Lease, rental agreement, or house deed
• Health and life insurance papers
• Medical and vaccination records for you and your children
• School Records
• Divorce and custody papers

Other Items

• House and car keys
• Medications, glasses, hearing aids
• Address Book
• Phone cards
• Family photographs
• Children’s toys
• Change of clothes for you and the kids
• Pet Items
• Other__________________